The "Obscure Former Reds" Hall of Fame

Paying homage to the Dann Bilardellos and Marcus McBeths of Cincinnati Reds history

I’d love to be writing about championships and blockbuster trades and Hall of Famers and big free agent signings. But this is Cincinnati. Temper your expectations.

Instead, I often find myself diving deep into the past, mining our collective memories for things that make us smile. Or, at least, things that make me smile. I have to do some of these for myself, you know. Anyway, one of my favorite of these topics* is reminiscing about obscure former Reds players, guys who were here and then gone and only remain as a confusing line on a baseball-reference page. I simply love these barely-remembered players, that’s all. Not everyone can be Johnny Bench!

*I paid homage to these obscure former Reds in a couple of installments a few years ago: here’s Volume 1 and Volume 2.

Last week, I was bored on twitter and I posed a question: Who is on the Mount Rushmore of obscure former Cincinnati Reds players?

I learned a couple of things about Reds fans as the replies flooded in. First, you people remember a ton of players who the average fan has long forgotten. And, second, many of the fans on twitter don’t understand what the word “obscure” means.

This is the first large-scale attempt to honor Obscure Former Reds, mostly because I’m the only person silly enough to undertake such a dumb project. I’m going to sort the responses, along with some additions of my own, into four categories. The first category is the list of names who just do not qualify for a Hall of Fame of this type. Next will be obscure players who aren’t quite HOFers just yet, but have a shot of making it on a future ballot.

The top two categories, I’ll designate “Inner Circle” and “Outer Circle.” These will be the de facto Obscure Former Reds Hall of Famers, with the Inner Circle reserved for the best of the best. The top four will be our Mount Rushmore.

Okay, let’s get to the actual contenders as we wind our way down to the Obscure Former Reds Hall of Fame. There is no good definition for what we’re looking for, and it’s mostly my subjective opinion here. Notwithstanding that, I am absolutely correct in all my decisions, and there will be no appeals.

So let’s begin, but first, let me remind you: this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, no wagering.

Not Obscure Enough

Here’s where we eliminate players who got votes but are not obscure enough for this honor. Some are not obscure at all! I mean, who voted for these players?

• If you were selected to the National League All-Star team as a member of the Reds, you are, by definition, not obscure. Eliminated: Dave Concepcion, Brandon Phillips, Scott Rolen, Felipe Lopez, John Smiley, Ron Gant, Roberto Kelly, Bip Roberts, Reggie Sanders, Devin Mesoraco, Tom Hume, Bo Diaz.

• If you are in the Reds Hall of Fame or won big awards while on the club, you are not obscure. Eliminated: Vada Pinson, Johnny Vander Meer, Dan Driessen, Pedro Borbon, Scott Williamson (Rookie of the Year), Cesar Geronimo (4 Gold Gloves).

• If you had historical highlights as a Red, you’re eliminated: Scooter Gennett (4 HR in one game), Joe Randa (Opening Day walkoff), Greg Vaughn (leader of 1999 Reds who finished fourth in MVP voting).

• If you hosted Saturday Night Live and are one of the most famous football coaches in the country, you’re not obscure. Sorry, Deion Sanders.

• If you never played for the Reds, you probably shouldn’t have gotten a vote (Pedro Borbon, Jr.)

• If you were only a Reds minor leaguer but went on to become a legend elsewhere in the entertainment world, you aren’t eligible: sorry, Randy Poffo, AKA Macho Man Randy Savage.

• If you were a star for another franchise, you’re not obscure: Josh Hamilton, Lee Smith, Vince Coleman, Tony Fernandez, Frank Viola, Manny Trillo, Benito Santiago, Shin-Soo Choo, Christy Mathewson, Kevin Mitchell, Jim Edmonds, Jeff Reardon, Kent Tekulve, Mariano Duncan, Ryan Ludwick, Kevin Gausman, Billy Martin, Dante Bichette, Dmitri Young, Paul Blair, Eddie Guardado, Jack Morris.

• Others who I have deemed ineligible for various reasons: Ryan Freel, Joe Oliver, Chuck Harmon, Paul Janish, Frank Pastore, Chuck McElroy, Bill Doran, Ramon Hernandez, Pete Harnisch, Lenny Harris, Ron Robinson, Eddie Milner, Todd Benzinger, Pokey Reese, Joe Price, Scott Sullivan, Nick Esasky, Dave Burba, Bernie Carbo, Hal Morris, Dave Collins, Brett Tomko, Jeff Branson, CJ Nitkowski, Scott Schebler, Jeff Treadway, Ed Armbrister, Thomas Howard, Scott Feldman, Todd Walker, Bruce Berenyi, Tommy Pham, Drew Stubbs, Kal Daniels, Elmer Dessens, Jeff Keppinger, Ryan Hanigan, Kurt Stillwell, Ted Power, Brayan Pena, Rich Aurilia, Michael Tucker, Jeff Reed, Doug Flynn, Alfredo Simon, Pete Schourek, Jonny Gomes, Ruben Sierra, D’Angelo Jimenez, Ron Villone, Adam Rosales, Scott Scudder, Tim Pugh, Willie Greene, David Weathers, Gary Redus, Dontrelle Willis, Sean Marshall, Matt Belisle, Chris Heisey, Joey Jay, Corey Patterson, Austin Kearns, Aristides Aquino, Aaron Harang, Eddie Taubensee, Mark Lewis, Scott Service, Royce Clayton, Logan Ondrusek, Mark Portugal.

Players who will remain on the ballot for future enshriment

Before we get to the list, I need a ruling from you, Devoted Readers. Here are five names on which I’m torn. Are they obscure enough for this Hall of Fame? Let me know what you think.

• Wily Mo Pena

• Derek Dietrich

• Pete Rose Jr.

• Herm Winningham

• Billy Bates

• Chris Stynes/Jon Nunnaly (they’re a duo)

The following players, on the other hand, are obscure and they all have a solid case to be on the ballot, but I just couldn’t enshrine them this time around. Maybe we’ll conduct a reader vote and see how many get 75% of the ballots. Of course, I’m not entirely certain that all of these players actually played for the Reds.

• Terry McGriff, Rolando Roomes, Sal Butera, Pat Pacillo, Stephen Larkin, Jerry Hairston, Ryan Wagner, Jason Marquis, Darrell Chaney, Bob Bailey, Don Nottebart, Denis Phipps, Brook Fordyce, Andy Kosco, Dallas Williams, Pat Perry, Jeff Jones, Andy Abad, Mark Hutton, Chris Valaika, Miguel Cairo, Jon Moscot, Pedro Strop, Woody Woodward, Andy McGaffigan, Fred Lewis, Arturo DeFreites, Chris Reitsma, Vic Corell, Bill Bonham, Dominic Smith, Randy Keisler, Sal Fasano, Duane Walker, Rookie Davis, Tony Cingrani, Ricky Bones, Joe Gibbon, Fred Toliver, Greg Garrett, Cesar Hernandez, Chris Jones, Donald Lutz, Roger Bernadina, Chad Mottola, Micah Johnson, Derrick Robinson, Alex Arias, Frank Williams, Alex Ochoa, Dennis Rasmussen, Asdrubal Cabrera, Juan Castro, Josh Osich, Luis Arroyo, Jesse Gonder, Rey Olmedo, Hector Mercado, Dioner Navarron, Kristopher Negron, Dilson Herrera, Ryan LaMarre, Cesar Tovar, Al Worthington, Pat Watkins, Ruben Mateo, Brad Gulden, Jake Elmore, Chasen Shreve, Ryan Dennick, Nick Christiani, German Barranca, Javier Valentin, John Courtright, Mel Queen, Ty Cline, Clint Hurdle, Jorge Cantu, John Roper, Joey Weimer, Brian Hunter, Mike Kelly, Laynce Nix, Vic Corral, Brad Lesley, Randy St. Claire, Tim Hummel, John Vukovich, Merv Rettenmund, Bob Owchinko, Brian Dorsett, Matt Reynolds, Michael Papierski, Colin Moran, Wil Myers, Hal King, Paul Noce, Rick Wrona, Larry Leubbers, Hector Cruz, Jacob Cruz, Elizardo Ramirez, Denis Menke, Paul Householder, Harry Spilman, Stan Belinda, Mike Vail, Scotti Madison, Tracy Jones, Don Werner, Kelly Stinnett, Todd Coffey, Kevin Gregg, Paul Moskau, Lance Davis, Jeff Austin, Jackson Stephens, Leo Garcia, Tom Foley, Juan Graterol, Donovan Hand, Willie Bloomquist, Jacob Brumfield.

And here we go! The inaugural class of the Obscure Former Reds Hall of Fame:

Outer Circle

All of these names are eminently worthy of enshrinement. I wish I could write more about each but, honestly, there’s not much to say about most of them, right? That’s part of the fun!

• Max Venable: One of the top vote-getters, but I couldn’t put him in the inner circle, despite his sweet glasses.

• Champ Summers: With a name like that, I always thought he should have been a better player.

• Mike Costanzo: I always thought his nickname should have been T-Bone.

• Tyler Holt!

• Asher Wojciechowski: My nickname for him was “Ol’ Cut and Paste” because that’s what I had to do to his last name every time I wrote about him.

• Tito Francona: Not obscure anymore, but we’re putting him in anyway!

• The rest: Kyle Waldrop, Paul Bako, Zach Vincej, Ted Savage, Tim Costo, Daniel Ray Herrera, Chico Ruiz, Candy Sierra, Mo Sanford, Alex Trevino, Quinton McCracken, Rafael Landestoy, Skeeter Barnes, Marcus McBeth, Gookie Dawkins, Curtis Partch, Patrick Kivlehan, Wade Rowdon, Brandon Larson, Jack Hannahan, Josias Manzanillo, Alan Knicely, Jay Tibbs. Mike Lum.

Inner Circle

The cream of the crop, the elite, the GOATs of obscure Cincinnati Reds. Here’s your top 20, including the Mount Rushmore:

• Lisalverto Bonilla: I wanted to put him on Mount Rushmore, just because his name was so much fun to say. Last player eliminated from that discussion, alas.

• Luis Quinones: Where’s Quinones?

• Dann Bilardello: I really wanted to put him on Rushmore. He has a bunch of obscure points in his favor: a backup catcher, played on a forgettable team, a name that is fun to say. Lots of these guys are in the HOF mostly because they have weird names.

• DT Cromer: I thought this guy was going to be something.

• John Lamb: Remember that guy? I’m pretty sure he drove a candy apple red Trans Am to the stadium on game day.

• Deck McGuire: I always thought his name sounded like some private investigator in a 1950s film noir.

• Keefe Cato: He had a horribly airbrushed uniform on a Topps card back in the day.

• Norris Hopper: That dude could bunt!

• Roberto Petagine: Reportedly had the largest pant size in Reds history.

• Kevin Quackenbush: I remember being at a game with my son and very few other fans during the Quackenbush era. A very drunk guy two rows in front of us screamed out before every pitch: “Fear the mighty Quackenbush!” My son still talks about it to this day.

• Burke Badenhop: Also an inner circle “Best Name” Hall of Famer.

• Tim Layana: Rule 5 guy who got a championship ring and probably felt like the luckiest guy on earth. Passed away far too soon. RIP.

• Corky Miller: Is there anyone else whose only claim to fame is his mustache?

• Dave Van Gorder: Incredible name, backup catcher.

• Larry Biittner: Maybe the first obscure Red in my lifetime. Biittner actually played 14 years in the big leagues and compiled a WAR of -1.2. That's pretty impressive in a weird way.

• Wladimir Balentien: In 2013, he hit 60 homers, breaking the Japanese single-season home run record of 55, previously held by the legendary Sadaharu Oh, among others. He hit a few batting practice homers for the Reds, too.

Mount Rushmore

• Ricky Karcher: Let us never forget The Ricky Karcher Game.

• Wayne Krenchicki: My nemesis.

• Jon Coutlangus: Colonel Angus, the ol’ carpetbagger. Most people were always happy to see his shining face. I myself never much cared for Colonel Angus. He rubs me the wrong way. I’m not sure why… can’t put my finger on it. But ultimately, don’t believe everything you hear about ol’ Colonel Angus. Colonel Angus might be rough. Colonel Angus might not smell like a bed of roses. But, deep down, Colonel Angus is very sweet.

• Ryan Lavarnway: How can we ever forget Lavarnway’s five-game stretch with Cincinnati, in which he hit .278/.316/.722 with two homers and 7 RBI. He was an absolute lock for Mount Rushmore.

Just read through the list of names, the ones who made it into the Hall of Fame and those who didn’t. I bet you have some memories of some of them. There are no pre-1960s guys on the list, but the fun of this project is the “Oh yeah, I remember that guy!” factor.

I said earlier there would be no appeals, but I lied. It’s my Substack, I can do what I want to. I’m sure there are other obscure players who should be included. Let me know the mistakes I made above, as well. Drop them in the comments and we’ll induct a second class into the Hall of Fame at a later date.