Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Cincinnati sports fans
It's a hard knock life
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how Cincinnati sports is fueled by hope.
As the Bengals bumbled and stumbled their way to a 24-6 halftime deficit in front of a national audience last night in San Diego, I tossed off a throwaway tweet or xweet or whatever:
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be Cincinnati sports fans. It’s something I’ve touched on occasionally over the years — A Lost Generation of Reds Fans (2018) — but despite all the heartbreak and disappointment, we all keep coming back for more. We’re gluttons for punishment.
And then the Bengals nearly pulled off their biggest road comeback ever, with quarterback Joe Burrow firing three touchdown passes in less than nine minutes to erase a 21-point deficit. But of course they lost, and the final nail in the coffin of the 2024 Bengals season has been hammered in.
Both the 2024 Reds and Bengals entered the season with high hopes and talented (if incomplete) rosters. And both left their fans disappointed and wanting more. Rinse, repeat. It’s what we do in Cincinnati.
At this point, I’ve decided just to embrace it. Heartbreak is what Cincinnati does! It’s our brand. Cincinnati sports fandom is not for the faint of heart. Supporting these teams is an emotional masterclass in hope, heartbreak, and resilience.
But here’s the thing: we keep coming back. Maybe it’s because misery loves company. Perhaps the pain is just proof that we care. And someday—someday—it’s all going to be worth it. Right?
Take the Bengals, a franchise that has specialized in ripping hearts out with surgical precision. I think back to 2005: that season was supposed to be the start of something magical. After 14 years of irrelevance, quarterback Carson Palmer led the team to an AFC North title and a playoff berth. Remember how the city was abuzz with optimism as the Bengals hosted their first postseason game since 1990? And then it started perfectly: Palmer unleashed a 66-yard bomb to Chris Henry on the first play. Then Pittsburght’s Kimo von Oelhoffen dove at Palmer’s knee, tearing his ACL. The energy in the stadium evaporated as backup Jon Kitna struggled to keep the team afloat. Cincinnati lost 31-17, and the dream was over almost as soon as it began.
Fast forward a decade to the 2015 Bengals. I dunno, I remember thinking this was a team that had a chance to win it all. They started 8-0, boasted a ferocious defense, and had dynamic weapons in A.J. Green and Tyler Eifert. Even when Andy Dalton broke his thumb late in the season, the team had enough firepower to stay competitive behind A.J. McCarron. Or so I thought. They entered the playoffs with genuine Super Bowl aspirations. Hosting the Steelers — of course — in the Wild Card round, the Bengals mounted a stirring fourth-quarter comeback to take a 16-15 lead. Victory was in their grasp.
And then it slipped away—literally. Jeremy Hill fumbled the ball, and a comedy of penalties on Vontaze Burfict and Adam “Pacman” Jones gave the Steelers a gift-wrapped field goal to steal the win. It wasn’t just a loss—it was a meltdown so spectacular it defied belief. To this day, die-hard Bengals fans can’t mention the game without wincing.
The Reds, meanwhile, have their own growing library of heartbreak. The Big Red Machine of the 1970s feels like ancient history, and for the past three decades, the team has specialized in teasing fans before dashing their hopes. The 2012 season might be the cruelest example. With 97 wins, the Reds dominated the NL Central and stormed into the postseason. Again, this is a team I felt certain had a real shot to hoist a trophy at the end of the season. The Reds took a commanding 2-0 lead in the NLDS against the San Francisco Giants, winning both games on the road. All they needed was one win at home to advance.
Instead, they lost three straight at Great American Ball Park. Game 3 was a nail-biter, a 2-1 defeat that left fans nervous. I took my son to Game 4, expecting to see the Reds celebrate on the field; it ended up being a blowout.
By the time Game 5 rolled around, the Reds seemed paralyzed by the moment. The Giants won 6-4 — powered by that Buster Posey grand slam that will never stop reappearing in my nightmares — completing the improbable comeback and sending Cincinnati into yet another offseason of "what ifs." The Reds haven’t won a playoff series since 1995.
Cincinnati’s college basketball programs aren’t immune to the curse afflicting this city. In 2018, the University of Cincinnati Bearcats and Xavier Musketeers both entered March Madness as high seeds with legitimate Final Four aspirations. Then came the first weekend of the tournament. Cincinnati, up by 22 points in the second half against Nevada, collapsed in historic fashion. The same exact day, Xavier surrendered a 12-point lead to Florida State. In just four hours, both teams’ seasons ended in disaster. Typical Cincinnati, right?
There are plenty of other moments that sting. The Reds’ one-game Wild Card playoff loss to the Mets in 1999 after a 96-win season. (Screw Al Leiter.) The controversial holding call on Logan Wilson in Super Bowl LVI that helped the Rams snatch victory from the Bengals. Xavier’s nine appearances in the Sweet 16 and three times in the Elite 8 without yet sniffing a Final Four. Kenyon Martin! (Need I say more?) The list goes on.
If there’s a city whose sports fans deserve a collective hug, it’s Cincinnati. To cheer for the Reds, Bengals, Bearcats, or Musketeers is to accept a lifetime of near-misses, devastating losses, and the cruelest twists of fate. And yet, we keep coming back. Because, I suppose, Cincinnati sports fandom isn’t about glory — we don’t get to enjoy glory. No, it’s about hope. And hope, as we’ve learned, endures.
And yes, as always, there are reasons to believe. Joe Burrow has given the Bengals legitimacy, and they have enough talent to tease us for the foreseeable future. The Reds do have plenty of young talent, promising brighter days ahead with a proven manager now at the helm. To their credit, FC Cincinnati has injected new life into the city’s sports scene, building a winning culture that footy fans have embraced wholeheartedly.*
*Although, if we’re being honest, FCC has contributed to the heartbreak in the DNA of this city. Remember the 2015 US Open Cup, when they took a 2-0 lead over the NY Red Bulls? And then blowing the game in the last 15 minutes? Good times.
Someday, one of these teams will break through! I still believe this, despite all evidence to the contrary. Someday, a championship parade will roll through Fountain Square, and the decades of heartbreak will feel like they were worth it. Because Cincinnati sports fandom isn’t just about the pain—it’s about the joy that comes from sticking with your team through thick and thin.
And I can speak from experience. As many of you know, my alma mater is the University of Virginia. For most of my life, the UVa basketball program did nothing but break my heart. Even when they emerged from the bottom tier of the ACC under coach Tony Bennett, they jerked defeat from the jaws of victory. I was in Chicago in 2016 when they blew a big second half lead in the Elite 8, falling to Syracuse. I had tickets for the second round of the NCAA tournament in 2018 in Charlotte; unfortunately, Virginia played UMBC in the first round so I never got to use those tickets. And that’s all I have to say about that.
But my son and I were in Minneapolis a year later, celebrating Virginia’s national championship. I promise you: all the heartbreak and all the disappointment was absolutely worth it. And I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
So here’s to those of you who never give up, who keep cheering, who believe that next year will be the year. Because someday, it will be. And when it is, there won’t be a more deserving city in the world.
In the meantime, yes, it’s a hard knock life.
What’s Chad Watching?
Not much to say here, but this is what I’ve seen over the last couple of weeks. Woman of the Hour is worth a watch. We were lucky enough to be in New York last weekend and were able to catch Juror #2 in one of the less than 50 theaters in which it played. It’s a crime that Eastwood’s latest (last?) wasn’t distributed more widely. Catch it on streaming. Recommended.
If you’re someone who’s interested in theater, we saw a couple of good ones in NYC on this last trip. Once Upon a Mattress, starring Broadway GOAT Sutton Foster, is closing soon; that’s too bad, because it’s very funny. Stereophonic is the most Tony-nominated play of all time. I also recommend it, if you’re one of the three readers here who is interested in that sort of recommendation. Hey, this Substack is largely just a peek into whatever is interesting to me each week. Sorry about that. You get what you pay for!
Oh,it is a frustrating life indeed. Full of would-be heroes who never reach their wished-for status. Almost better to never care for sports.